Travel Tattoo

**This is a travel sound off submitted by Kenya A.**

Ok so for Memorial Day weekend my friends and I stayed at The Carlton South Beach Hotel which is located at 14th & Collins, 1433 Collins Avenue to be exact. Prior to booking our room, a minimal amount of research was conducted due to time constraints. Despite a thorough inspection of the hotel, based on the website and a few decent reviews we felt confident that we selected a hotel that would provide a comfortable, clean and inviting atmosphere. We were sadly mistaken.

I acknowledged the fact that no business or establishment is always going to have 100% satisfied customers, taking that into consideration we weren’t completely turned off when we read some unfavorable reviews on a few websites. We probably should have listened when we read the staff was rude and uninviting.

On the website the lobby looks amazing; in person it looks like a warehouse. Indeed the aromatherapy was in full effect but the couches in the lobby were flea market/good will status. The elevator looked as though it should have been in a psych ward and the bar was just lame. We take the elevator up to the 2nd floor…. The hallway feels like a sauna, the ceilings are unbelievably low and the cleaning ladies in the hallway staring at us conveniently “No ‘speaka any english”…. . Holding our breathe; I open the door….. inhale… exhale…. Mildew!!! The smell of mildew welcomes us to our humble abode, WTF I thought each room was filled with the amazing scent of aromatherapy??… Yeah Ok!! Check the bathroom…. Clearly built for midgets, so small, hot and very skeevy (gross). I was desperate for a can of Lysol. Check the closet…. 4 hangers….No fridge…..No drawers (4 hangers)…. Nice flat screen with NO cable.

Call front desk to request towels… we have no clean towels. They provide 3 towels… and there are four of us. Front desk hoe says she’s going to have someone bring us towels right away. 2-3 hours later… still no towels.

Next day, head to the beach….. return to room… Room has not been cleaned. Luckily roommate and good friend knows some Spanish and was able to tell the cleaning lady that our room had not been cleaned in two days. She enters our room and says “Ay dios mio” (however you spell “Oh my God in Spanish”. She got to cleaning ASAP!! We weren’t pleased with our hotel but we definitely made the best of our stay. Would I recommend this hotel to someone…. I’d recommended a homeless shelter first!!!

Pros
1. Bed was pretty comfy
2. Location is amazing
3. Nice flat screen
4. Air Conditioner was poppin


Cons
1. Room smelled like mildew
2. No Drawers to put your clothes
3. Shower curtain smelled like men’s locker room/dirty gym socks
4. Suspicious stains on sheets
5. Carpet stains
6. Scarcity of towels and soap
7. Clean towels did NOT smell fresh
8. No toothpaste
9. No continental breakfast… Shit no food period
10. Wouldn’t dare trust the pool
11. View sucks